"Well, we all have something." It often sounds so negative, but look at it from another perspective and it becomes a compliment. We all have something to contribute, certainly when it comes to parenting, to a constructive family life. With sharp one-liners and practical examples, Bert Reinds knows how to give a new boost to modern parenting. He also relieves some of the pressure from the high ideals that young parents often set: After all, we all have something! Make use of it and get inspired by this book and the corresponding website.
The book and website are designed in such a manner that both individual readers as well as groups of parents who want to consider the upbringing of their children together can make use of it.
Columns about daily life
The columns of Bert Reinds discuss practical and familiar aspects of daily life. They therefore often reflect his own environment and family. Reinds shows how you can also be a Christian while doing ordinary things . This gives the book an added value. The short stories stimulate readers to form their own opinion. For anecdotes and incidents, Reinds draws from his extensive experience as a remedial educationalist.
A practical, positive book about marriage and family. The different phases of a marriage relationship are discussed with their specific opportunities and problems. It is ideal to discuss with your partner or at a discussion forum.
Introduction
Part I: Marriage
1. Starting as you mean to go on
2. What is a marriage?
3. Communication in a marriage
4. Time is money
Part II: Family
5. Family: Society in a nutshell
6. The 'hidden' dynamics of the family
7. The family under pressure
8. Equipped for adulthood
Acknowledgements
Fear of commitment, superficial contacts, lack of communication: maybe these problems have always been around, but the number of complaints is certainly on the rise.
According to remedial educationalist Bert Reinds, problems start with the transition towards independence. He believes that the core of many problems lies in the inability of people to be vulnerable. Much is expected of us and we try desperately to live up to those expectations.
The community at large spells expectations out to young people, after all: you have succeeded when you have made it, when you are stylish and fashionable and especially when you have everything under control.
And in reality? Is there room for uncertainty, weakness, fear or sadness? Those that discover that they are not as perfect tend to try and 'hide' their weaknesses. Which results in more superficial relationships with others and you ending up being a slave to other people and time pressure. You are, in fact, deluding yourself and others; you don't allow anybody to see who you really are.
Being vulnerable is a way out. It is not an easy path, but one in which further growth is possible. So you can become more like the person God has in mind for you, rather than the person that your community wants you to be.
"I felt so useless today, almost as if the world is too full with me being here too. I know that, by thinking like this, I am surrounding myself with walls but I don't see another option. If I show the real me, I certainly won't make it, they'll get me like they did at school and I can't afford to take that risk again. It seems like everyone is watching me."
This is an excerpt from the diary of Ruth. It runs like a thread through 'Ik lach wel maar ik ben niet blij' [I may be laughing but I'm not happy]. In this book, remedial educationalist Bert Reinds addresses young people that may appear to have it all on the outside but who are secretly struggling with loneliness and unanswered questions about sexuality and the meaning of life.
The pressure of overflowing diaries and performance requirements push parents and children apart much earlier than either would prefer. How can this be prevented? And how do you reach young people who isolate themselves in their loneliness?
Reinds has had many discussions with young people and their educators. In 'Ik lach wel, maar ik ben niet blij' he gives educators, youth workers, teachers and ministers insight into the realities of young people and gives ways to reach out to them, talk to them and continue to talk to them.
Familiar practical examples from daily lives are used to provide substance to this provocative and engaging book for those with a soft spot for the younger generation.
Mark's rabbit died. The entire day, he is just sitting around staring out the window. At a certain point, this starts to irritate his father Bart. "Come on, we'll get a new bunny. We'll go and buy one on Saturday". We are all very good at finding solutions, but sitting next to your child to ask him what he is thinking and how he feels now that his rabbit is dead is much more difficult...
According to remedial educationalist Bert Reinds, fathers have more control over things than they often realise themselves. They do not only have a heart with which they can love and respect their children, they also have hands. Hands that can make or break, repel or console, play or punish and help to build or praise.
During his presentations and in his own practice, Bert has come across many distraught fathers that are struggling with the concept of being a dad. He lost his own father at the age of 7. In 'Vader zijn met hart en handen' his opinions, ideas and experiences are all examined based on the Bible.
He also provides illustrations with familiar examples from his own practice and family. He provokes you to think about your own situation.
A heart-warming and very practical book for anyone who has a father, is a father or is about to become one. It also makes for a wonderful gift!
